Putting Love aside and Moving On....

When I was 16(ish) I met a boy that just made my world go round.

He was 19 and dreamy - totally tall, dark and handsome. He was sweet, caring, genuine, thoughtful, and into me...or so I thought.

Him and I were good friends - and moving towards a relationship. Seriously, he called me when he said he was going to. Clearly, it was love.

We had so much fun when we together, we ate at great restaurants, watched the sun go down at the beach, laughed - a lot, and had these 'moments' that were so special and unique.

Things started to get 'sticky' - he wasn't interested in getting serious and I was young. So, I adapted. Became less like a girlfriend and more like a friend. I was there for him through all of his girl problems, and one particular night - he came over....we were laying on my floor by candlelight listening to romantic love music, cuddling....he whispered in my ear, "I want someone like you to be my wife."

Oh My. I wasn't sure how to take that or what that meant, but I was certain he was interested in a relationship, otherwise, why would he have said that?

At that time, however, I was not interested. I had my eye on someone else, and that comment was a bit intense. I told him to go home.

He did.

We maintained a friendship for years - with some issues here and there over the closeness we shared at times. I always thought he'd come crawling "back" to me, and he always did - but always at the wrong times.

Through much of my younger years, I thought I loved him. I thought we'd find a middle ground and somehow end up together.

The truth is, I do love him, very much. As a friend, he's a great guy - and very important to me. He understands me, and he gets me. And he cares very much.

It's so nice to be an adult now, with adult ideas and perspectives. It gives the world a fresh take.

He was not my White Knight on a White Horse there to save me.

~Stephanie