My contract is coming to an end. GameHouse - a place where I find solace, love, friendships and family will no longer be my home. It is so hard to look at the people that I have grown to love and know that I will not be seeing them every day - and to know that no one will ever impact my life the way GameHouse has.
GH has been my rock, my foundation, my source of comfort in times of need and loneliness.
GH is my family.
I can not express nor show the all the ways that each of these people have impacted my life - but I'm going to give it a go:
Kraig: You have become one of my closest friends. You have been a shoulder for tears, a friend for advice and we have lots of fun together!! You mean a lot to me, and I love you very much.
Alex: We didn't get close until recently, but the last few months of time with you and getting to know you has been fantastic and I do not have words to describe how I feel about you. You are special and have helped me through some really tough times, you've been there for me in more ways than twenty. You are very important to me and I love you.
Ian: You gave me a home when I was homeless. You have been a friend, a roommate, a sober friend when I was too drunk to function, a source of good advice and long, good, intense, rich conversations. AND you teach me a lot, Love you!!!
Tyler: T-Bone!! You crack me up daily. You have taught me to embrace my heavy side, enjoy the rain, laugh at my stupidity and make up shit about inventions to piss off Ian. And have taught me about witty banter - like no one else has. I don't really love you because you're too thin - I may change my tune when you shoot a gun!
Nick: You're a pain in my ass, but I appreciate you!! You were my first friend and GH, and you have been there for me in many ways. I will miss learning all sorts of new fangled Jiu-Jitsu moves in case I'm attacked on the streets - and I may need to contact you to be reminded of how much of a heinous bitch I truely am. I don't think anyone else gets that like you do.
Deon: It's been refreshing to have another girl in QA. We didn't get to spend much time together, but I know you can keep these boys in line!! You rock!!
Craig: I will miss not having a crass man at my desk every day. You have made me embrace the feeling of fake molestation and I will miss you.
Chuck: You make me laugh. You are totally erratic and crazy, and I appreciate that. I will miss the daily, "So...Steph...." when questions of my ability are challenged. It's good stuff. You keep me on my toes.
Marcus: You're a rad boss. You've been a good source of advice and help. You've been there for me, and always have a good idea to pass on when I've needed it the most. Thank You.
I really wish I could list all 56 of my fellow employees on here - as they have all impacted my life in one way or another.
I have learned a lot about myself and about others through this time in my life. You have been with me through my toughest journey's and have always been there for me. You have never abandoned me nor made me feel like I am anything less than loved.
I love You all!!
~Stephanie
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Putting Love aside and Moving On....
When I was 16(ish) I met a boy that just made my world go round.
He was 19 and dreamy - totally tall, dark and handsome. He was sweet, caring, genuine, thoughtful, and into me...or so I thought.
Him and I were good friends - and moving towards a relationship. Seriously, he called me when he said he was going to. Clearly, it was love.
We had so much fun when we together, we ate at great restaurants, watched the sun go down at the beach, laughed - a lot, and had these 'moments' that were so special and unique.
Things started to get 'sticky' - he wasn't interested in getting serious and I was young. So, I adapted. Became less like a girlfriend and more like a friend. I was there for him through all of his girl problems, and one particular night - he came over....we were laying on my floor by candlelight listening to romantic love music, cuddling....he whispered in my ear, "I want someone like you to be my wife."
Oh My. I wasn't sure how to take that or what that meant, but I was certain he was interested in a relationship, otherwise, why would he have said that?
At that time, however, I was not interested. I had my eye on someone else, and that comment was a bit intense. I told him to go home.
He did.
We maintained a friendship for years - with some issues here and there over the closeness we shared at times. I always thought he'd come crawling "back" to me, and he always did - but always at the wrong times.
Through much of my younger years, I thought I loved him. I thought we'd find a middle ground and somehow end up together.
The truth is, I do love him, very much. As a friend, he's a great guy - and very important to me. He understands me, and he gets me. And he cares very much.
It's so nice to be an adult now, with adult ideas and perspectives. It gives the world a fresh take.
He was not my White Knight on a White Horse there to save me.
~Stephanie
He was 19 and dreamy - totally tall, dark and handsome. He was sweet, caring, genuine, thoughtful, and into me...or so I thought.
Him and I were good friends - and moving towards a relationship. Seriously, he called me when he said he was going to. Clearly, it was love.
We had so much fun when we together, we ate at great restaurants, watched the sun go down at the beach, laughed - a lot, and had these 'moments' that were so special and unique.
Things started to get 'sticky' - he wasn't interested in getting serious and I was young. So, I adapted. Became less like a girlfriend and more like a friend. I was there for him through all of his girl problems, and one particular night - he came over....we were laying on my floor by candlelight listening to romantic love music, cuddling....he whispered in my ear, "I want someone like you to be my wife."
Oh My. I wasn't sure how to take that or what that meant, but I was certain he was interested in a relationship, otherwise, why would he have said that?
At that time, however, I was not interested. I had my eye on someone else, and that comment was a bit intense. I told him to go home.
He did.
We maintained a friendship for years - with some issues here and there over the closeness we shared at times. I always thought he'd come crawling "back" to me, and he always did - but always at the wrong times.
Through much of my younger years, I thought I loved him. I thought we'd find a middle ground and somehow end up together.
The truth is, I do love him, very much. As a friend, he's a great guy - and very important to me. He understands me, and he gets me. And he cares very much.
It's so nice to be an adult now, with adult ideas and perspectives. It gives the world a fresh take.
He was not my White Knight on a White Horse there to save me.
~Stephanie
Friday, May 8, 2009
Another nonsensical blog about things....
I will admit that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the blog world.
Reading people's thoughts, feelings, emotions, dreams, goals, ideas and all that stuff in their words from their point of view - really regenerates me.
Everyone I know - and the blogs of people I don't' know - is going through a different phase and place in life and I love reading about it.
It makes me feel fresh, new, and all sorts of perspectivilized (it's a good real word - hush).
Since I'm going through a different place in my life than I ever thought I would be going through...and am navigating as best as possible and finding the joy and love in the world around me - and working to achieve pure real genuine happiness....it's so great to read about other people who have gone through, and are going through the things I'm going through (you know, life...) and they've come out on top and as a better person.
I've made it a personal goal to not identify myself as 'divorced' - I've known many women who carry this torch as if it's who they are - not something they've been through. I've watched bitterness grow and harvest into a really big tree - and it's sad.
I don't want to be a victim of my circumstances - I want to OWN my circumstances. I want to stare at my circumstances in the face and say, "Hello Friend. Let's do this together." and eventually leave those circumstances in the dust.
Is this some new-age fangled scary way of thinking? I think not.
The world is a better place when we are all working to achieve something greater than ourselves and learn from each other - with open minds and open hearts.
~Stephanie
Reading people's thoughts, feelings, emotions, dreams, goals, ideas and all that stuff in their words from their point of view - really regenerates me.
Everyone I know - and the blogs of people I don't' know - is going through a different phase and place in life and I love reading about it.
It makes me feel fresh, new, and all sorts of perspectivilized (it's a good real word - hush).
Since I'm going through a different place in my life than I ever thought I would be going through...and am navigating as best as possible and finding the joy and love in the world around me - and working to achieve pure real genuine happiness....it's so great to read about other people who have gone through, and are going through the things I'm going through (you know, life...) and they've come out on top and as a better person.
I've made it a personal goal to not identify myself as 'divorced' - I've known many women who carry this torch as if it's who they are - not something they've been through. I've watched bitterness grow and harvest into a really big tree - and it's sad.
I don't want to be a victim of my circumstances - I want to OWN my circumstances. I want to stare at my circumstances in the face and say, "Hello Friend. Let's do this together." and eventually leave those circumstances in the dust.
Is this some new-age fangled scary way of thinking? I think not.
The world is a better place when we are all working to achieve something greater than ourselves and learn from each other - with open minds and open hearts.
~Stephanie
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