You had it coming....

I think people have gotten the wrong impression.

As commented on my last blog - I am apparently feeling/exploring all sorts of avenues and ideas that are not appropriate - that claim I have walked away from Faith, God and all that applies - that has also implied I am not following a good path and need prayer. It all feels very judgmental.

I have received numerous emails from people about how my divorce has made me walk away from the Lord. That I'm walking with the devil. That I'm horrible. That I'm selfish. That I'm not catering to my torn apart sad down-trodden husband, who is begging for me to return ( <- Just to clear things up - this is not his stance. ) That I have somehow become the satanist whore... That I am searching for things that are of this world. That I'm being unruly....honestly? I could keep going. And Honestly..................STOP!!

I appreciate being loved and cared for. But - judging and telling me how horrible I am...is not love and not care. It's a selfish desire to make people live life YOUR way.

I'm not sure if you know this or not - but judging is also a sin. <- In fact, I think this is talked about often in the bible. So stop. Otherwise, you're just as bad as this self-centered Satan filled self-gratifying worshiper - that you have pegged me to be.

I am on a search - I am on a journey. I am taking a really shitty situation and I am trying to learn from it. I am trying to better myself and I am trying to become a person who is not going to continue to make the mistakes I made in my marriage.

Am I sad that it all came down this way? Of course I am. Do I wish we could have jumped in years ago and saved it? Of course I do. But, that was not the way the cookie crumbled. And if we're not meant for each other - don't you Self-Righteous Christians out there believe this is a part of God's plan and there is someone better suited for each of us out there?

I am irritated. And I have sat back for nearly 3months and peacefully dealt with the judgment and the blame you have cast on me. I have been the bigger person. I have been the more loving person. I have been the things to you - that we, as friends, should be to each other.

As Jon has said, this whole situation will help us weed out the people who really care...

For those of you who have truly cared - and there have been many. Thank You. I appreciate you. I appreciate your willingness to hold my hand and help me walk through this process....you have seen the parts of me that have struggled to deal with this. You have watched me learn and grow....and you have loved and cared for me. Thank You.

To those of you who want to change me?

Lay Off. I'm not interested and I am happy with the person who I am becoming.

~Stephanie